


This Means War

by Kerry_0506



Category: Mission: Impossible - Ghost Protocol (2011)
Genre: Gen, Humor, Pranks and Practical Jokes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-01-30
Updated: 2012-02-02
Packaged: 2017-10-30 08:43:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 10,256
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/329919
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kerry_0506/pseuds/Kerry_0506
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"It had all started as an innocent game on Benji's behalf." The resident technician pulls a little prank on a certain analyst. He doesn't expect Brandt to fire back. Let the prank war begin. Whose side are you on?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Ok, so here's something that popped into my head out of nowhere. It was kind of also inspired by episode 9 of The Unusuals (in which Jeremy Renner's character and another detective pull pretty epic pranks on each other) and an episode of Supernatural.  
> I hope you enjoy it!

o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o

It had all started as an innocent game on Benji's behalf. He had managed to get hold of Brandt's cell phone whilst the analyst was in the shower and plugged it into his laptop; with a few taps on the keyboard, his dastardly plan was done. He placed the iPhone back onto the kitchen counter with a wink at a curious Jane and returned to his usual activities.

Later that evening, the group went for a drink to celebrate the completion of their mission and Benji figured it would be the perfect time to put his plan into action. Subtly, he slipped his phone out of his pocket and dialled Brandt's number; when he saw the word "calling" on the screen he had to hold back an anticipatory grin.

_"If you wanna be my lover, you gotta get with my friends. Make it last forever, friendship never eeeeenndddss…" ___

Brandt's eyes widened in horror as he searched his pockets frantically for his phone while his teammates stared at him. Ethan was trying extremely hard to not crack a smile at his friend's expense while both Jane and Benji were in a fit of hysterical laughter. When Will finally found his phone, he ended the call and glared at Benji.

"Would I be right in assuming you are the one responsible for this, Agent Dunn?" he held up his phone to make the point.

"Oh come on, Brandt!" Benji spoke in between his breathy laughs. "It was just a joke. I mean Jane can see the funny side of it and I'm pretty sure Ethan is struggling to keep a straight face over there." Brandt looked at Ethan who immediately cleared his throat and made the half smile disappear from his lips, holding up his hands in surrender.

"Yes, but you didn't do it to Jane or Ethan, did you?"

"Oh, Brandt, don't be such a baby. Where's your sense of humour?" the technician then proceeded to lose it again, unable to calm down with the look that was plastered on Brandt's face.

_So he wants to play it that way? _Brandt thought to himself. Benji would soon find out where the analyst's sense of humour was.__

o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o

Two days had passed since Benji's 'Spice Girls' prank and the tech had still not stopped talking about it. He even hummed the tune just to get a reaction out of Brandt.

The team returned to their rooms and bid each other goodnight before disappearing into their own sanctuaries. Benji threw his jacket onto the sofa and made his way to the bedroom, stifling a yawn along the way. He couldn't wait to get a nice long sleep; he would get to experience one of his rare yet beautiful sleep-ins the following morning and he was definitely looking forward to that. Changing from his jeans to his pyjama bottoms and removing his shirt, he didn't even bother turning the light on before lifting the covers and jumping into bed.

He then found himself propelled into the air and then back down, the rhythm of the liquid in the water bed below him rendering him unable to remain still. Scrambling out of bed, he flicked the light on and saw that, much to his suspicions, his mattress had been replaced with a bright blue water bed.

"Brandt…" he glared at the bedroom door before launching himself through it and then out of the main door into the hotel corridor. He made his way along the hall, not caring that he was only wearing a pair of pyjama pants, and banged his fist on the door to Brandt's room. "Brandt, open up."

Moments later, the door opened and Brandt appeared, clearly half ready for bed as he stood in just his jeans.

"May I help you, Benjamin?" he mocked a serious tone, which only frustrated Benji even more.

"You did that, didn't you?" he pointed in the direction of his hotel room. Brandt glanced down the hall and raised his eyebrows before turning back to Benji.

"I'm sorry, I'm not quite sure what you're talking about."

"Oh don't play dumb, of course you do. This is about the ringtone isn't it? You're getting back at me for that?" when Brandt merely leaned against the doorframe and smirked, Benji clenched his teeth. "This means war, my friend. You've messed with the wrong guy." He stormed back towards his hotel room, shooting Brandt one last evil glance before the sound of a door slamming left the corridor silent.

Until Brandt started laughing.

o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o


	2. Chapter 2

o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o

It had been a week since Brandt replaced Benji’s mattress with the water bed and the analyst was starting to wonder if Benji had been serious about his threat or not. He couldn’t be sure, however he knew that if the tech was planning something, Brandt wasn’t helping himself by laughing at the fading bump on his friend’s forehead. The morning after the mattress stunt, Benji had turned up at the van with a rather large bruise and lump on his head and they had all wondered what had happened. It turned out, to avoid sleeping on the water bed, Benji had taken the couch, however the next morning he had forgotten where he was and proceeded to roll over; this resulted in his rolling off the edge of the couch and landing on the floor in a heap, tangled up in his sheet. His forehead had smacked onto the floor, much to Brandt’s amusement, but now the analyst wondered if that would make Benji’s revenge that bit colder. 

Either way, he had no need to be worried – William Brandt had been the king of pranks at high school. Benji wouldn’t know what hit him. 

The group arrived at their safe house for the latest mission and Jane flopped onto the sofa. It had been a long trip so they were all exhausted. Brandt decided to grab a quick shower before heading to bed, disappearing into his room. Once he had gone, Benji finally cracked and began to laugh, falling backwards off the arm of the chair and landing on his back on the sofa, his head next to Jane. He looked up at her and grinned cheekily.

“What did you do?” she asked, nervous as to the next level the technician would have taken things to. 

“Oh, just wait and see. You’ll know soon enough…” Jane rolled her eyes at the beaming agent and flicked on the TV, anxiously awaiting the results of Benji’s newest prank. Ethan joined them and the three began to watch some program on a local Swedish TV station. About ten minutes later, there was a yell from Brandt’s room, causing the three agents to rush across and bang on the door. 

“Brandt?” Ethan knocked. “Are you ok?” the trio were leaning against the door to listen for any noise when the door suddenly burst open. The movement caused Benji and Jane, who had been leaning completely against the wood, to stumble forward a bit. When they stood back and looked up, however, they could not hold back their hysteria. 

“BENJI!!” Brandt’s voice practically shook the entire building as he stormed out, bright, florescent yellow hair glowing under the artificial lighting in the room. Benji gave a small yelp when he saw the analyst preparing to charge and skidded across the room, running to safety on the other side of the sofa. Brandt tried to round the furniture in an attempt to catch the tech, but Benji merely moved with him, trying to keep a safe distance between him and the fuming agent. He knew he was in trouble, but Benji just couldn’t take the man seriously with his hair the colour it was. He felt himself beginning to crack a smile again but instantly regretted it when Brandt suddenly mounted the sofa and launched himself through the air, catching Benji off guard. He collided with the younger agent, who made a sound that was extremely unmanly and sounded suspiciously like a squeak, and the pair tumbled to the ground in a heap; Benji trying to roll free whilst also trying to stifle his laughter. 

Ethan and Jane, who were also struggling to not laugh at their friend’s new hair, ran around and attempted to free Benji from Brandt’s rage-filled grasp. Ethan grabbed Brandt by the waist and pulled him off Benji, lifting him to his feet and simultaneously attempting to stop him throwing himself back at the tech. 

“Brandt! Brandt! Calm down!” he yelled, wrapping one arm around the younger man’s chest, the other pinning one of the analyst’s arms behind his back. A few moments of struggle passed as they watched Jane help Benji to his feet. 

“You… are dead…” Brandt breathed. He was 100% serious as he spoke, however he could tell that the three other agents were not really taking his threat seriously due to the brilliant yellow that shone in the light. “I mean it!” 

“I warned you.” Benji spoke from his secure spot behind Jane. He rested his chin on her shoulder and smirked. “You messed with the wrong guy.” 

“Oh you just wait, Dunn.” Brandt lifted his fist in a threatening manner and glared at the technician. He knew he saw a glimmer of fear flash in the Brit’s eyes, but it was gone in an instant.

“Ok, have we calmed down now?” Ethan asked, still restraining the analyst due to worry of what he may do once he let go. 

“Yeah… yeah, we’re good.” Brandt nodded and soon felt the grip slacken. He gave Benji one last glower before heading back to his room. Benji took a few steps so he could see through the door at a safe distance and shoved his hands in his pockets.

“Oh, Brandt…”

“What?” the blunt and angered response came drifting through the door. 

“I think the colour is very becoming on you!” He turned and grinned at Jane, however didn’t see the pillow flying through the open door until it was too late. He stumbled to the side with the impact and stuck his tongue out at the now closed door before letting himself fall back onto the sofa. Reaching into his pocket, he pulled out a small piece of card and a pen. Ethan and Jane looked over his shoulder to read what was written on it. 

_**Benji: 2 __**_ ****  
 _ **Brandt: 1 __**_ ****  
o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o


	3. Chapter 3

o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o

It took way too long, in Brandt’s opinion, for the hair dye to fade. At least it had been temporary dye, he’d give the tech credit for that, but he just made the game so much more intense. Brandt had a good idea up his sleeve, he just needed to pull it off; he knew he could do it. He had found a little pastry store down the road from where they were staying that made all their items in the store fresh. Perfect. 

“Ok, guys, I’m gonna get a donut, does anyone want anything?” he shouted, grabbing his jacket from the coat rack. 

“Oh yes please, jam one please!” Jane replied. 

“Ditto!!” Benji’s voice drifted from his room, causing Brandt to smirk. 

“None for me thanks.” Once he had Ethan’s reply, he shouted goodbye and exited the room. He made his way to the store, pulling out a little tube from his pocket and smiling evilly at it. Placing it back into his jacket, he continued his walk. He had to say, he was proud of himself for this idea. Benji wouldn’t see it coming. Pushing open the door to the shop, he entered and smiled at the staff member.

“Good afternoon, sir. How can I help you?” she spoke with a rather heavily accented voice, however her English was clear. 

“Hey there, I was just wondering if you could make a donut for me but fill it with this instead of jam?” he held out the small tube for her to take. She stared at it a few moments and looked up at Brandt, unsure about it. “Oh, it’s ok; it’s just for a friend. He has very strange taste buds.” He shot her one of his irresistibly charming smiles and she nodded, walking out to the back of the shop. When she returned she smiled at him. 

“We’re just doing that for you now. Was there anything else you were looking for today?” he ordered Jane and himself a donut and a few moments later, a man from the kitchen appeared carrying a bag with a donut in. The young woman took it from him and placed it onto the counter. “There you go, sir. Was that everything today?” 

“Yes, thank you.” He paid his money and with another smile, he exited the shop, eager to return to put his plan into action. He couldn’t stop the grin that was growing on his face, however he had to remove it before he entered their hotel room; he didn’t want Benji to suspect anything. “Hey guys, I’m back! Who wants food?” he closed the door and headed to the kitchen where he was met by Benji and Jane. Handing each of them their donuts, he grabbed his own and waited for the tech to take a bite from his. He watched as his friend-turned-nemesis placed the pastry in his mouth and brought his teeth down into it. Once the chunk was in his mouth, Brandt saw Benji’s eyes widen and watched the man drop the donut onto the counter as he rushed across the room and disappeared into the bathroom, mumbling and trying not to gag along the way. Brandt began to howl as the sounds of Benji coughing up the donut into the toilet filled the apartment and he had to lean on the counter to get his breath back.

“Oh, Brandt. What now?” Jane asked, staring at the half eaten donut that lay on the kitchen worktop. She could see a strange green substance oozing out from inside of it, causing her stomach to turn. “You didn’t poison him, did you?” Brandt couldn’t reply through his gasps for air so he shook his head and reached into his pocket, pulling out the little tube. Jane grabbed it from him and read the name, pulling a face when she realised what it was. “Wasabi? Ew!” 

“You’re a fucking dead man, William Brandt!” the English voice came from the bathroom, only causing more laughter to erupt from the analyst. Ethan, who sat on the sofa reading the newspaper let a smile escape and shook his head. Things were only going to get worse. 

_**Benji: 2 __**_ ****  
_**Brandt: 2 __**_ ****

o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o


	4. Chapter 4

o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o

“Will you put that stupid thing away please?” Benji yelled at Brandt when he casually placed a tube of wasabi on the table in front of the tech as he tried to work. Just looking at the substance made Benji feel ill again. Brandt gave a chuckle and shook his head.

“Just give it up, man. Admit that I, William Brandt, am the winner of this competition and all will be forgotten.” Benji looked across at Brandt’s evil smile and rolled his eyes. “Come on, Benji. You need to learn to quit while you’re ahead.”

“Oh, do I now?” Benji raised his eyebrow. He suddenly threw his hands in the air and stood up. “You know what, whatever. I don’t care anymore.” He began to walk away. 

“So does this mean I won?” Brandt shouted after his friend as the Brit disappeared into his room. His response was a hand appeared around the door frame giving him the finger. The analyst smirked to himself and settled back into his chair. _I win. Again._

o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o

Brandt felt himself being cruelly pulled from, in his opinion, the best sleep he’d ever had, but the sound of ringing. He pried his eyes open and looked at his watch. 

1:30am.

Sitting up straight in his bed, he reached out for his alarm clock and grabbed it, flicking the button and sighing as the ringing subsided. 

_Nice try Benji. _He shook his head and let himself flop back onto the pillow; he was asleep in seconds.__

The next thing he knew, the ringing was back. Brandt tried to ignore it, sliding down in the bed and pulling the covers over his head, but it didn’t work. He threw the covers off with a huff and grabbed the alarm clock again, not even bothering to open his eyes this time. He flicked the switch, however when the ringing didn’t stop, his eyelids shot open. What the hell was ringing? Rolling onto his side, he hit the switch to the bedside lamp; the light stung his eyes as he glanced around. His watch read 2:30am this time. Great.

“There you are.” He saw the small alarm clock on the vanity table opposite and launched himself at it, hitting the button; he felt an overwhelming sense of relief when the ringing, once again, was silenced. “Very funny Benji.” He muttered, throwing the clock into his pile of clothes on the floor. He let himself collapse back down onto the bed and snuggled under the covers. 

Once again, Brandt heard the distant ringing in his ears and he groaned. _You’ve gotta be kidding me…_

He sat up quickly and sniffed the air in fury, as if he could smell the stench of the alarm clock. Switching on the lamp again, he looked around the room for the evil entity that disturbed his sleep. Glancing at his watch again, he noticed it was now 3:30am. That tech was going to pay. But first, he needed to find that damn clock. Standing up, he looked around the room trying to follow the sound; he could hear it gradually getting closer, but still couldn’t quite figure out where it was coming from. He could imagine Benji laughing his head off as the analyst wandered around his room as if on a hunting spree, wearing only his boxers and practically talking to himself. The ringing was now right next to him and he threw open the curtains, finding the small clock sitting on the windowsill. He viciously grabbed it and flicked the switch before throwing it across the room with a small grunt. He sighed before checking a few other spots for any other clocks. When he couldn’t find any, he stumbled back into bed and curled up under the duvet again, relieved that he could now sleep for the rest of the night.

Well, until 4:30am that was, when yet again, Brandt woke to the sound of more ringing. This time, however, he merely let out a small whimper and hid his head under the pillow, hoping that the sound would just go away. 

In the adjacent room, Benji smirked to himself, pulling out a small piece of paper from the bedside table and quickly jotting something down.

Benji: 3  
Brandt: 2

o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o

The next morning, Brandt shuffled out of his room rubbing his eyes. His hair was scruffy and there were dark circles underneath the not-so bright blue orbs. 

“Good morning Brandt!” Benji spoke with a chirpy voice as he ate his cereal. “Did you sleep well? Cos I slept like a baby last night.” 

Brandt merely glared at the tech, giving him daggers as he smiled back at the other agent and went back to eating his cereal. The analyst was beginning to feel rather irate. Payback was going to be sweet. He just had to think of something good enough. 

o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o


	5. Chapter 5

o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o

Almost a week had passed since the alarm clock stunt and the team were now in a different country all together. Brandt had taken the time to do some further research into his teammate and was extremely happy when he found out something that would be perfect for his next evil plan. Now he just needed the supplies. Excusing himself from the safe house, he jumped into the van and made his way into the nearest town, he knew the exact shop that would cater to his needs swimmingly. He pulled up outside the little store and grinned as he saw the items in the window. Benji was going to kill him, but that was the sacrifice you make in a prank war; anything can happen and you accept that. Benji had signed on that dotted line back when he changed Brandt’s ringtone. He entered the shop and made his way through it, picking up the items as he went. The man at the counter definitely seemed confused by the items (and the amount of items) that he was buying, but didn’t question the agent. It took Brandt some time to get all the items into the van; however he was soon on his way back to the safe house, a rather large grin plastered on his face. 

He waited until Benji had to go out before making his move; once the tech had disappeared, Brandt grabbed all of the items and headed into his teammate’s room. Ethan was out with Benji, leaving Jane as the only bystander to be left confused by Brandt’s actions, watching him walk to and fro between the van and Benji’s room with the items, dreading what he was up to. She saw the idiotic smile he was wearing and shook her head.

_Boys will be boys… _she thought to herself, going back to read her magazine.__

o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o

By the time Benji and Ethan had returned, Brandt had completed the set up for his prank and was seated on the sofa next to Jane. 

“Hey guys.” Jane smiled at them as they walked in, feeling sorry for what Benji was about to endure. 

“Hey.” Ethan threw himself down on the sofa as Benji made his way across the lounge and into his room. Brandt had to stifle a pre-emptive laugh as the tech disappeared and he waited for his plan to work. It took a while, but he soon heard Benji open the doors of his closet. There was a sudden scream from his room and the sound of someone hitting the ground with a thud, followed by numerous smaller thuds. The team rushed to Benji’s aid, only to find a pile of toy clowns on the floor and no sign of the technician. 

“Benji?” Jane called out to him and jumped when the pile of toys moved. Blonde hair emerged and as the toys fell away, Benji’s face appeared; his cheeks were flustered and he had a few little red marks where toys had hit his face. He didn’t get up; he merely sat there, buried up to his shoulders in numerous soft toys and jack-in-a-box’s, and began to sulk. 

“You. Are. Evil.” He spoke slowly, glaring up at Brandt who was trying so hard not to laugh. Jane swiftly elbowed Will in the stomach, resulting in a groan from the analyst, as Ethan stepped over to help Benji to his feet. The tech fixed his shirt and cleared his throat, nodding at Ethan in thanks before making his way to Brandt. “I’m taking your room tonight. You can stay here with the clowns. You’ll fit right in.” he threw the analyst a sarcastic smile and exited the room, immaturely nudging Brandt’s shoulder roughly as he passed the man. Brandt finally gave in to the laughter that had been threatening to consume him and keeled over, leaning on the doorframe to stop himself from falling. 

“You really are a clown, Brandt.” Jane commented as she left the room. 

“I saw that Jane!” he shouted after her. “You were smiling! It was funny and you know it!” he wheezed trying to catch his breath as Ethan shook his head and followed Jane, leaving Brandt alone with the toys. He kicked them out of the way before flopping onto the bed with a grin. 

Benji: 3  
Brandt: 3

o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o


	6. Chapter 6

o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o

Benji hated clowns. With a passion. Ever since he was a child. Which is what made Brandt’s last prank so much more evil. Revenge was going to be ice cold. The technician had thought long and hard about what he was going to do to get him back, looking at so many possibilities until he finally settled on one. He knew it would work and it would definitely get under Brandt’s skin. He had to admit, it was an all-time low for the tech to be sinking to, but it had to be done; there was a lot at stake here. 

That night, he waited for Brandt to go to sleep and once he was sure that the analyst was out for the count, he crept into the man’s room as silently as he could. Tip-toing over to the chest of drawers, he opened them one by one until he found the items of clothing he was looking for. Reaching in, he lifted out all of the items and gathered them in his arms, replacing the pile with one single item. He had to clamp his own hand over his mouth to stop the laugh from escaping his lips as he glanced at the sleeping analyst before leaving the room as quietly as he had entered it. Once he was in the living area, he grabbed a plastic bag and placed the stolen items inside it before throwing it underneath the bed in his room and returning to sleep feeling rather accomplished. 

Brandt was in for a nice surprise when he woke up.

o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o

“Benji!” oh there was the delightful sound that meant Benji’s plan had worked. As the door to his room flew open, Benji looked up from where he was sitting on the edge of his bed and had to bite his lip to suppress a laugh. Brandt was standing in front of him, wrapped only in a towel, holding in his hand a lacy, bright red thong.

“Wow, Brandt, I never picked you for the stringy type.” Benji smiled and bent down to continue doing up his laces on his sneakers. 

“Oh ha ha, you’re hilarious.” Brandt’s sarcastic tone went right through the technician. “Now where did you put my underwear?” 

“Brandt, I honestly have no idea what you’re talking about.” Benji didn’t look up from his shoes, afraid that he would laugh if he did. 

“Benji. I mean it. Where are they?” when Benji shrugged Brandt walked over to him and grabbed him by the collar of his shirt and lifted him to his feet. “Benji. What did you do with them?” Benji remained silent, the only hint of emotion that showed on his face was portrayed by the smirk that took over his lips. “You’re dead, Benji.” With that, he let go of Benji’s shirt and stormed out of the room. “Ethan, Jane I need to go out to buy some new… just some stuff.” 

Benji stood up and stuck his head out of his room to see Brandt making his way back to his own room. “What are you gonna do? Go commando?” he looked at Jane and winked. 

“Screw you, Benji!” the response came drifting through the house, the anger that resounded in the analyst’s voice was like music to Benji’s ears. 

o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o

A little over an hour later, Brandt returned from his shopping trip with a plastic bag in his right hand, his left twitching whilst trying to avoid showing his team the true discomfort he was currently in. He would never understand how women could wear those things. He shuddered as he crossed the room and headed towards his bedroom, wanting nothing more than to change into the more comfortable underwear that he was used to. He entered his room and closed the door behind him, however when he looked across at his bed, he almost cracked. There, on the end of the bed, nicely folded was his own underwear. 

Outside, he could hear the sound of Benji’s laughter. 

Benji: 4  
Brandt: 3

o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o

The next night, the team went out for a drink to commemorate the end of their latest mission, however the mission that Benji and Brandt were on was far from over. Due to the last prank Benji pulled, the tech was now on edge slightly. He was happy to know that he pulled it off, however knew that Brandt would hit back again. He’d learnt by now that William Brandt was unpredictable, so he needed to be careful and tread lightly. Brandt and Ethan had gone to the bar to get some more drinks while Benji and Jane discussed the current prank war that was taking over the two men’s lives. 

“It’s not immature, it’s just a battle of the wits. Completely harmless.” Benji grinned at Jane who rolled her eyes, grabbing the glass of wine Ethan handed her. Brandt sat down with his drink and gave Benji the second beer bottle he held. Benji smiled at him and took it in the palm of his hand, worried that he might have slipped him a laxative or something. 

_Well, if he has, that’s a pretty lame prank. _Benji thought to himself as he sipped the beer. It didn’t taste any different so hopefully that meant he was safe. However, he realised that Brandt had got him good this time, when he went to put the bottle down and couldn’t. Flattening his hand out, he noticed that the bottle stuck to his palm like a magnet. It was at that moment that Brandt almost spat his drink out over the table.__

“Please tell me you didn’t…” Benji looked across at the analyst, eyes wide and a horrified look on his face as he watched the man lift up a tiny tube of super-glue. 

“I’m afraid I did.” Brandt grinned and began to laugh; both Ethan and Jane couldn’t prevent smiles from emerging on their faces as they watched Benji try to shake the bottle off. The only thing the tech achieved by doing so was spilling beer over himself and the table. 

“If I have no skin left on my hand after this, you’re dead.” Benji stood up to leave.

“I’m not touching that line with a thirty foot pole, man.” Brandt said between laughs. 

“You’re perverted!” Benji exclaimed before storming off to the bathrooms. Brandt turned to his friends once Benji had disappeared and the trio burst into hysterics.

Benji: 4  
Brandt: 4

o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The idea for the glue on the beer bottle was from an episode of Supernatural (along with the comment about the skin on Benji’s palm) the quote belongs to the scriptwriters of Supernatural. I just borrowed it :P


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So here’s when Benji gets reallllllly evil… Is he way in over his head? Probably. Does that make him reconsider? Never.

o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o

Several days passed and Benji had barely spoken two words to Brandt after he managed to get the bottle detached from his hand. He’d had to have it bandaged for a few days, but now that the skin had started to heal he was fine to go without. Brandt was beginning to feel like this silent treatment was Benji’s way of acknowledging defeat. He was fully aware that he’d hurt Benji a bit with the last prank, but it was nothing the tech couldn’t handle. He knew that he’d get over it and admit defeat. It was just a matter of time. 

Meanwhile, Jane and Ethan were starting to worry about what was going on between Brandt and Benji; the pair had barely talked since the day at the bar unless they absolutely had to. This was either the biggest fallout the team had ever faced or Benji was up to something; they figured that he was brewing some ridiculous prank inside. They knew that on the scale of what Brandt did last time, he was going to be in some serious trouble if Benji was planning another prank. Either way, the two agents were sure they would find out sooner or later. 

That weekend, Benji knocked on the door to Brandt’s room and waited until it opened. 

“May I help you?” Brandt asked, waiting for the surrender to come. 

“Look, Brandt, we’ve been acting a bit stupid and immature over the past few weeks…” Here it comes… the analyst thought as he listened. “I was just wondering, did you want to come out for a drink, as a kind of truce?” 

Brandt thought on the offer for a moment and decided that it was the closest thing he was going to get to an admission of defeat. “Sure, I’ll grab my jacket.” 

“Great, I’ll meet you in the van.” Benji smiled and disappeared. Once Brandt was ready, he said goodbye to Ethan and Jane, who were going over some things for the next mission, and joined the technician in the van. 

“So where are we headed?” Brandt asked as they drove through the streets. 

“Oh, I heard of this great little bar in the city, apparently the music and atmosphere are great. Thought it’d be nice to just hang out and get thing back to normal, you know?”

“Perfect.” Brandt grinned. He had to admit, Benji had put up a good fight and he admired him for accepting defeat so well. Things were finally going to get back to normal. 

The van pulled up in the parking lot and Benji turned the engine off before the pair got out. Brandt followed his friend to the entrance and they made their way inside. When they were at the bar, Benji ordered the drinks and they made their way to a booth to talk. 

Brandt sat down and glanced around. The room was filled with enthusiastic people having fun and it made him smile. He glanced back to Benji, who was sipping his drink and bobbing his head to the beat of the music. Things felt good again. 

About half an hour had passed when Benji stood up. 

“I’m just gonna run to the loo, ok?” he shouted over the music. “Be back soon.” Brandt nodded and watched his friend go, taking another swig of his drink. 

Meanwhile, Benji made his way across the room before stopping near the bathroom door. He’d done it; he’d lured Brandt into a false sense of security just as he had planned. Now, to move onto phase two. Approaching the exit, he stopped a young man on the way. 

“Excuse me, are you looking for a guy tonight?” 

“Depends who’s asking.” The man replied. Benji pointed in Brandt’s direction.

“He’s looking for a good time. Tell your friends, ok? He loves the whole group thing, you know what I’m talking about?” the man nodded at Benji’s words and smiled before crossing the room towards the unsuspecting agent. Benji took the opportunity to make his getaway, exiting the bar and running to the van. He couldn’t stop laughing the whole way. When he got back, Ethan and Jane were watching television.

“Where’s Brandt?” Ethan asked as the tech entered the room.

“Oh, he met someone. I didn’t wanna cramp his style, you know.” 

“So are you two good now, or what?” Jane turned to him. 

“Oh, you have no idea.” Benji smirked, settling onto the sofa.

o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o

It was about an hour and a half before the door opened with a loud bang. The trio turned and saw Brandt standing in the doorway. His hair was scruffy and dripping with rain, his jacket was wonky and his tie, which was half undone, sat on a slightly opened shirt. 

“Welcome back, Brandt.” Ethan smiled as he walked in. “Benji said you’d met someone… looks like you had some fun.” His smiled disappeared, however, when he saw the look Brandt was giving Benji. 

“You.” His voice was oozing with rage as he stepped inside. Instinctively, the tech shot to his feet and bolted to the other side of the room. It felt like a replay of the hair dye incident, only this time, Brandt looked like he was actually ready to kill Benji. “How could you do that to me?!” 

“What happened?” Jane asked, getting to her feet. 

“He left me, stranded, in a gay bar!” he pointed an accusing finger at Benji who held up his hands in defeat. “I was ambushed by several guys who for some reason, God only knows why, thought I was interested. I wonder who might have told them that.” All eyes were on Benji now as his mouth hung open.

“I…” he cleared his throat. “How can you accuse me of such a thing?” ok he had to admit, that was definitely _not _his best lie, but it was worth a shot. Yet that ‘shot’ was really pointless when Brandt was flying across the room at him. Benji squealed and ran straight into his room, slamming the door behind him and leaning against it for dear life.__

“Let me in, you son of a bitch! I’m gonna kill you!” Benji struggled to keep the door shut as Brandt kicked and punched it. 

“Easy there, Brandt!” he heard Ethan try to calm him down but it was to no avail. The kicking continued and Benji continued to stand his ground. He knew what he’d done was evil, however he had a prank war to win. As the kicking subsided, finally, he let himself sag against the door, sliding down until he was sitting on the ground. He let out a sigh, lucky to still be alive. However he knew that Brandt wouldn’t let this one go lightly. He was in deep shit.

Until then… Benji thought, pulling out his trusty piece of card and his pen.

Benji: 5  
Brandt: 4

o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> BAM, so Benji knows he’s in trouble. He’s sunk to an all-time low. How will Brandt get his revenge, you ask? Oh, boy… Just wait and see…


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, so this prank was inspired slightly by an episode of The Unusuals, in which a similar prank is played on Jeremy Renner’s character. How low can he go? Oh, pretty freaking low… Poor Benji!

o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o

“Hey, Jane?” 

“Yeah?” Jane turned as Brandt entered her room. He closed the door behind him and approached her quickly. 

“I need you to make me a mask…”

“A ma… what?” Jane was confused. “What do you need it for? You going undercover?”

“Well, sorta…” Brandt avoided eye contact and Jane understood immediately.

“Oh, come on, Brandt. This is for another one of those pranks, isn’t it?”

“I just wanna get Benji back for that stupid stunt he pulled last week.”

“Look, you make it yourself. If you wanna use IMF’s equipment for your own personal use, be my guest. Just don’t get me involved, ok?” she turned back to what she was doing and he shrugged.

“K, where is it then?” 

“In the van. Be careful, ok? I don’t want you breaking it.”

“Yes mom.” He grinned and exited the room hurriedly. 

o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o

The group were downstairs in the hotel bar having a few drinks after dinner while they discussed their next plans. 

“Does anyone else want a drink? I’m gonna get me some beer. Same all round?” everyone nodded except for Benji. “What’s wrong, Benji?”

“Nothing…” the tech looked down.

“Oh, look I’m not gonna try anything, if that’s what you’re worried about. It’s just a drink, ok?” when Benji nodded, Brandt clapped his hands together. “Great, I’ll be right back.” he made his way through the crowd and reached the bar, ordering the teams drinks straight away. While the bartender was organising them, Brandt pulled out a little vial, opening the lid before sliding it into his hand so that it was hidden. When the bartender had placed the first two drinks in front of him, Brandt waited until his back was turned before bringing the glasses closer. He grabbed Benji’s glass by the rim, letting his hand hover over it and watched as a few little drops of liquid dripped into the beer. He smirked to himself.

_You deserve a good sleep, Benji._

Once he’d paid for the drinks, he carried them back to the table; he made sure he remembered which beer to give to Benji. 

“Here we go guys.” He placed each drink in front of his teammates before sitting down. Benji hadn’t touched his glass. “What’s the matter?”

“Prove you haven’t glued it again.” Benji looked up at Brandt. The guy was clearly on edge, knowing that he was in for a rather nasty prank. Brandt rolled his eyes before grabbing the glass in his hand. 

“See? No glue. Will you just relax?” he put the glass back down in front of the tech and began to drink from his own beer. He watched as Benji brought the glass to his lips and took a swig of the beer. _Here we go. ___

About twenty minutes later, Brandt noticed that Benji’s eyes had glazed over and he was looking a little affected by the sedative.

“Are you ok, Benji?” Ethan asked, clearly having noticed his strange behaviour too. 

“Mmmm… I just feel a little dizzy, that’s all.” He looked down at his glass blinking a few times. “Probably a little drunk… not good…” he began to stand. “I think I’ll just head up to my room. See you guys tomorrow.” He smiled at them and began to make his way to the elevator. 

“Maybe someone should…” Jane suggested. 

“I’ll go.” Brandt rose to his feet. 

“Brandt, you’re not gonna use this to your advantage and play some prank on him are you?”

“No, Ethan, we may be currently engaged in a prank war, but I can still care that my friend makes it back to his room in one piece, can’t I?” when Ethan nodded, he began to follow Benji. This was all going to plan. He turned the corner and saw the tech by the elevator waiting for the doors to open. He stayed hidden, not wanting to give the game away too soon and only rushed over when he saw his friend begin to fall. Quickly catching him, he confirmed that Benji was unconscious before throwing him over his shoulder and entering the elevator. He was glad no one was watching because that would probably have looked bad. He wasn’t trying to hurt his friend; he just wanted to give him a nice scare when he woke up in the morning. And boy, was the Brit going to get just that.

o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o

Benji felt the sun creeping in through the gap in the curtains and took in a nice deep breath as he let himself wake up. He couldn’t remember how he got to bed last night, but he was glad he did. The only thing he really remembered was being in the bar with his friends; he assumed he got mighty drunk in order to not remember. He moved to rub his hands over his face but froze when he realised that he couldn’t. He quickly opened his eyes, instantly regretting it when the light almost blinded him, and looked around. He was lying in his bed, only wearing his underpants and his arms were pulled above him to the headboard where they were tied together with his own neck ties. 

“What the…” he whispered, looking around for anyone to cut him loose. What the hell had happened? His heart rate increased when he heard water running in the en-suite. Someone was still there. He tried to free himself but all that achieved was the skin on his wrists hurting. He heard footsteps on the tiles and stared at the bathroom door waiting in anticipation of who would emerge. 

“Morning sunshine.” A Spanish accent drifted from the lips of the man who stood in front of him. He had shiny black hair, piercing green eyes and was standing wearing nothing but a towel around his waist. 

“I… I-I don’t mean to be rude, but who the hell are you?” Benji’s voice wavered, completely dumbfounded by what was happening. 

“You mean you don’t remember? But Benji… I thought last night was special to you. It was to me.”

“Wh-I-Uh-what?” Benji stuttered, unable to form a full sentence. 

“Don’t you remember meeting at the bar? I was on my own and you offered to buy me a drink.”

“I did?”

“Yes.” The man sat on the bed next to Benji, who tried to shuffle away but the bonds around his wrists stopped him. 

“Wait… did we… we didn’t… you know…” 

“Of course, Benji.”

“Oh my God…” Benji let his head flop back onto the pillow and let out a whimper. “Ok, look, if something did happen last night, I didn’t intend for it to, ok? Could you please untie me and leave?”

“But Benji, I…”

“Please?” Benji begged. 

“Ok…” the man looked upset, but did as he was asked, untying each of Benji’s wrists and throwing the ties on the floor. He then stood up, grabbed his clothes from the ground and headed towards the door, with Benji close behind to make him move faster. “Can I call you?” the man asked, but Benji just shut the door in his face, letting himself sink to the ground in a heap. 

o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o

Outside, Brandt gave a grin and pulled the mask off his face. He thought back on how his plan had worked. He had taken Benji back up to his room and put him on the bed, stripping him to his underwear and tying him to the bed. He then went to his room and applied the mask before grabbing some fresh clothes and heading back to Benji’s room, he then waited until the morning before wrapping the towel around his waist and playing his part. It was times like these that he was glad he used to imitate the Spanish teacher he had at high school. 

Making his way back to his own hotel room, he opened the door and collapsed onto the bed, hoping to get a few hours sleep before they had to head out again. Now, he could sleep easy, knowing that Benji had received proper payback for his little stunt at the gay bar. He had to laugh when he pictured Benji’s face as he had walked out from the bathroom. Priceless.

Benji: 5  
Brandt: 5

o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o


	9. Chapter 9

o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o

Benji had been silent the whole drive that day, unable to say a word to anyone, trying to piece together what he could from the night before. He definitely did not remember offering to buy that Spanish guy a drink… He most certainly did not remember how he ended up tied to the bed in his hotel room… And he was one hundred percent sure that he would not have slept with him. At least not willingly. Then he had a horrific thought.

_Oh my God… Did he drug me? Maybe that’s why I can’t remember… oh God please… No…_

“Benji!” the tech shook his head and looked at Jane. “Are you ok? I’ve been trying to get your attention for a few minutes now.” 

“You have? I… Sorry… I’ve just got a lot on my mind right now.” He rested his feet down on the ground from their position on his chair. He had been sitting practically hugging his knees as he thought. 

“It’s ok, Benji. But we need you on the ball for this ok? We don’t want anyone getting injured.” Ethan explained from the driver’s seat. 

“Mmm-hmmm. Sorry, Ethan.” He rested his elbows on his knees and dropped his head into his hands, listening to Ethan and Brandt talking in the front seat. He tried to push the thoughts of what may have happened the night before to the back of his mind when he suddenly felt a hand on his shoulder. 

“Hey, Benji. What’s bothering you?” Jane asked. He raised his head and shuffled a bit closer, speaking only in a whisper. 

“Look, do you remember anything about last night?”

“Well, yeah, we went for dinner and had drinks.”

“No, I mean… after that. What did I do?” 

“Well, you said you weren’t feeling well so you went back to your room. Brandt followed you to make sure you got to your room safely, seeing as you looked like you were about to pass out.” 

“I did?” Benji was now more confused than ever. “You sure I didn’t maybe, meet some strange guy?”

“Benji, what are you talking about?” Jane spoke a little louder, causing Brandt to turn around and Ethan to glance in the rear view mirror. “You don’t remember anything about last night?”

“No, I don’t…” he leaned in again, hoping that the guys wouldn’t see him talking. “But this morning I woke up and I was tied to my bed… there was this strange guy in my bathroom and he said that we…” at this point Benji dropped his head into his hands and began breathing heavily. Jane managed to put two and two together and it hit her like a train. 

“William Brandt!” she yelled, causing both agents in the front seat to jump. 

“Yes?” Brandt turned around; Jane swore she saw fear in his eyes. 

“Benji, what did this man look like?” 

“Uh, he had dark hair… green eyes…” Benji’s voice was muffled as he didn’t raise his head. 

“Brandt, when you borrowed the mask maker, did you happen to make the face of a young man with dark hair and green eyes, by any chance?” when Jane mentioned the mask contraption, Benji’s head shot up and Brandt sank down in his seat slightly. There was silence for a few moments as Ethan pulled over at their destination. 

“Is that true, Brandt?” Benji found his voice at last. “Was that you in my room this morning?”

“Uh…” Brandt didn’t know what to do. He really wanted to laugh at the situation because he really did get one over on Benji big time, however the pained look in his friend’s eyes caused him to realise that he had actually hurt him. A lot. “Look Benji, I-”

“Save it, Brandt.” Benji grabbed his things and jumped out of the van, shortly followed by Jane. Ethan shook his head at the analyst before joining the others. Once they were outside, Brandt forced his fist into the glove box cover, frustrated that he’d let his prank go so far. Now Benji probably would never forgive him and he was going to lose one of his best friends. _Not cool, Brandt._

He plucked up the courage and finally got out the van, seeing them standing at the rear of the vehicle preparing for the job.

“Ok, so there’s four entrances to this place. We’re gonna split up. Jane you take the north, Brandt the south, I’ll take the east and Benji you get the west side. We search for what we need and then get the hell out of there. We don’t want anything going wrong. Not this far into the mission. We get this done right, we’re home free. Now from what we’ve heard, there’s at least four guards inside, be prepared for more. For all we know, this guy could have one on every entrance. Keep an eye out.” Ethan explained, reminding them of their codenames; Benji had chosen them this time. “We ready?” when the team nodded, they split up and headed to their designated entrance. Brandt watched as Benji went, wishing that he hadn’t been so stupid as to do that prank the night before this job. Benji was furious right now and that made Brandt worried that he wouldn’t be as focused on the job. If he wasn’t concentrating and a guard found him… he shook his head. Benji could take care of himself; he’d proved that in Mumbai. Hopefully nothing would go wrong and once they were out of here Brandt could try to set things right. 

Brandt made his entry to the building and pulled out his gun. He didn’t fancy not being prepared should some goon try to attack him. Checking all directions, he saw that there were no guards around him. 

“Kenobi, this is Han. South side entrance clear of guards.” He spoke into his comm quietly, just in case a guard heard him. 

“Copy that, Han.” Ethan’s voice came back through the earpiece. “I’ve got a clear entry too. Leia, how about the north entrance?” He then heard Jane’s voice. 

“All clear at my end too.”

“Luke, how’s the west side looking?” Ethan asked. There was no response. “Luke, come in.” still silence. “Luke, can you hear me?” Brandt gave a sharp intake of breath. “I’ll go check on him.”

“No, wait!” Brandt interrupted. “I’m closer to his entrance, I’ll go. It’s the least I can do after last night.” 

“Ok. Be careful.” Ethan spoke his last words as Brandt began to run, hoping that Benji just hadn’t heard them. He pictured the floor plan of the building in his mind. He remembered seeing that there was one corridor that led directly to the entrance Benji used. Running as fast as he could, he could hear voices getting closer. He slowed down as he reached a corner and as he peered around it, he saw Benji. At his feet was one dead guard, however he now had one man holding him from behind, pinning his arms down; another was trying to get to him from the front, however the tech was fighting with all his might, kicking and thrashing to keep the man at bay. Their initial idea that there would be a guard at every entrance had been wrong; they were all near the same one. 

Lifting his gun, he aimed it at the head of the man holding Benji, pulling the trigger in one quick movement. He saw both the dead man and Benji fall to the floor. He then used the second man’s temporary distraction to put a bullet in his head. Once both guards were dead, he made his way over to Benji, who was slowly getting to his feet. His right eye was bruised and beginning to swell, but he was ok. 

“Thanks.” Benji said as he stood opposite the analyst, picking up his gun from the ground and putting it back in his jeans. Brandt nodded and opened his mouth to say something; however Benji suddenly shoved him in the shoulder and threw his fist forward. Brandt turned to see that a guard, who had apparently been standing behind him, was now clutching at his nose as Benji went in for another blow. Brandt recomposed himself before running to join Benji as the guard took a swing for the tech. Brandt lifted his arm just in time to block the punch and brought his other fist around to the back of the man’s head. As his head jolted forward from the force of the hit, Benji brought his own head forward, letting it collide with the guard, stumbled backwards. The guard turned his sights on Brandt then, running at him and bringing his fist down on his face. The analyst tried to block it, but was unsuccessful, feeling the pain in his cheek on impact. Brandt countered this with a punch to the guards gut and then another to the underside of his jaw; this sent the man tumbling backwards until he landed on the floor with a thud. All it took was a kick from Brandt and the man stopped moving. 

The two agents took a few moments to catch their breath before saying another word. They both heard Ethan’s voice in their ears.

“Guys, is everything ok?”

“Yeah…” Brandt spoke in a breathy voice as he calmed his breathing down. “All four guards have been taken care of. Did you get what we needed?” 

“Yeah, we’ll come to meet you now. Where are you?” 

“West side entrance.” Brandt sighed and let his upper body fall forward, leaning on his knees and closing his eyes. He just wanted to get out of there and sort things out with Benji. 

“Five…” he heard Benji say. 

“What?” he made to lift his head up when he suddenly felt Benji throwing himself at him. As the pair tumbled to the ground, a gunshot rang out, swiftly followed by an exclamation of “Shit!” in an English accent. When they hit the ground, Brandt didn’t have time to register what was going on before Benji had rolled onto his stomach next to him. 

“Gun!” he yelled at the confused Brandt. “Fifth guard. Behind me down the corridor. Now!” the analyst understood what he meant and grabbed the weapon from the back of Benji’s jeans, aiming it down the corridor. He saw the guard and pulled the trigger, seeing the man’s dead weight fall to the floor in a heap. Once the guard was down, Brandt shifted on his spot before looking at Benji, who was rolling onto his back. The analyst saw bright red liquid oozing from Benji’s shoulder as the tech tried to sit up. 

“God, Benji, are you ok?” he helped the man sit, taking off his own jacket to push up against the wound. 

“Mmmm, I’m fine. He didn’t get you, did he?” 

“No, no.” Brandt couldn’t believe it. “Why would you do that?” 

“What?” Benji groaned at the discomfort as he spoke.

“Save my life. After what I did last night, I wouldn’t have been surprised if you’d-”

“I’d what? Let you get shot?” Benji raised his eyebrows. “Please, Brandt. You may have been an arsehole but you don’t deserve to be shot for that. Punched in the face, maybe, but not shot.” 

“Well, feel free to punch me.” He turned his face as if giving Benji a target, revealing a small cut on his cheek from the blow the guard gave him.

“I think I’ll pass. It seems you already got that from our friend over there. And besides, if you weren’t around, who would I be able to pull pranks on? I don’t like pranking girls, so Jane would be out of the equation and could you imagine what would happen if I tried one on Ethan?” 

Brandt let out a small laugh. “Yeah, a bullet to the shoulder would be the least of your worries.” 

“Exactly.” Benji smiled and looked up, seeing Ethan and Jane approaching. “Speak of the devil.” 

“Are you ok, guys?” Ethan shouted as they got closer. “We heard the gunshot and… Benji? Are you ok?” the tech had to laugh at their team leader’s reaction.

“I’m fine, Ethan, but do you think, maybe…” 

“Hospital?” 

“Yeah…” Benji nodded as Brandt helped him to his feet and threw his uninjured arm over his shoulders. The analyst turned to him as they walked.

“Hey Benji?”

“Yeah?”

“Are we good?” 

“Yeah, we’re good.” 

o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o

“Brandt, I may have been shot, but I can still walk. And I can definitely still open doors. Which means I am 100% able to kick your arse.” 

“Hey, I’m just trying to help!” Brandt raised his arms in defeat, letting the door slip from his grasp so it started to close on Benji. The tech reached out the arm that wasn’t in the sling and caught the door.

“See?” he smirked at Brandt, feeling happy with himself. Brandt shook his head as they exited the hospital, seeing Jane and Ethan waiting near the van. Benji jumped in the front with Ethan while Brandt and Jane climbed into the back and that began to drive. 

“So I take it you guys are ok now?” Ethan asked, looking between Benji and his rear view mirror.

“Oh yeah, you should see the list of pranks I got lined up.” Brandt joked and smirked.

“Jane, please hit him for me.” Benji said, smiling as he heard Jane smack him on the back of his head. The analyst let out a little ‘ow!’ before beginning to laugh. Benji grinned. “Thank you.” 

o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o


End file.
